Category Archives: Me and myness

The sun in our lives. (Part 1)

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Few weeks ago I was listening to this lecture by Mufti Menk and he mentioned something extra ordinary about Ayah 4 from Surah Yousuf.

إِذْ قَالَ يُوسُفُ لِأَبِيهِ يَا أَبَتِ إِنِّي رَأَيْتُ أَحَدَ عَشَرَ كَوْكَبًا وَالشَّمْسَ وَالْقَمَرَ رَأَيْتُهُمْ لِي سَاجِدِينَ

[Of these stories mention] when Joseph said to his father, “O my father, indeed I have seen [in a dream] eleven stars and the sun and the moon; I saw them prostrating to me.”

The Holy Quran has remarkable depths, it has Layers upon layers of meanings and even in the parables it draws, it has details and food for thought. Continue reading →

A beautiful afternoon!

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Grrrr!! I am angry. I am frustrated. I am upset and I am tired!!!
The sun is still bright, and there are still kites in the blue skies. A faint sound of airplane and my baby’s pause to salute this magnificent sight – an airplane in skies. She’s driving her car in reverse and then ahead again and shes looking at me for approval, a gentle nod, a kind smile, anything! It will make her feel nice probably the same way I sought for my mothers approval. I craved for that! And it already seems eons ago.
There are birds and chittering of kids! a one shoe-ed ib wants me to kiss his hands and his bib!

Honey came all the way up to give me this cup of soothing chamomile.

I hope all this pleasing life, ibs laughters and this tea makes me forget my strange sadness! I go cheer my girls achievement of taking the log out and climb it. And I live this fleeting surpassing beautiful life!

Testimonial.

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I’m a testimonial of them, who? please meet:

Mom and Dad: my Guardian angels, who bought me in this world, kneed Love in every inch of me and taught me that giving is divine. Who gave me trust and courage to go venture in this bad world, but never forget to keep a check, not because they trust me any less, Continue reading →

Materialism.

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We’re shifting, and in the process of packing I have found myriad of small useless colorful things which were perfectly hidden in the obscurity of my room. Old broken things that are mostly of no use, that deserve to be thrown away or given off. I would do neither. The narcissist me would cajole me to keep them only because they’re mine. The logistic me would give off wild persuading logics to put them in my prospect cupboard. The creative me would tempt me about the beautiful color they possess and how they would decor my room. The possessive me would take over and I would want to keep them no matter what. Continue reading →

Excursion to middle of Hills, Daman-e-Koh!

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Somebody in the mist tucks a tooth in the lower lip. Apprehensive, somebody in the mist listen to the far off sounds of strange instruments, smells the unknown, wild – but enchanting fragrance and remember strange sounding names – that tug the blurry memories of childhood. Somebody totally lost in one of those iridescent day-dream that appears to be so real and physical. This somebody, none other than me, blankly listens to the engine of the pacing car, try to swallow the feeling and feel its taste, how does the tongue respond to it? breathes the chilly air, that can give goose-bumps, beholds the magic that this air can do to each cell of her body – rejuvenates !! Continue reading →

Loneliness.

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When all the sadist people are punching plastic keys in the cyber world chasm, I sit beneath the black and smile to myself. I have moon with me and the stars in the belly of the night sky, me and My friends!
and when the lonely people gather around to celebrate Saturday nights in the nebulous virtual world.. I jump and shriek with my favorite cousin, playing our silly game of running around each other and clapping simultaneously. Too rejuvenating a game that I feel young and blithesome, even though I should feel older, maturer and stern But it felt juvenile. The extrovert me rips off the neurotism and lingers. The socialistic me paint the cheeky grins, and I miss my loneliness.

May be getting over the morbidity means surrealism.
Maybe sometime, surrendering is good!

The About me.

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I cover myself because “…by covering our beauty, we’re evaluated for our intelligence and skills instead of looks and sexuality. Many women who cover are filled with dignity and self-esteem and are happy to be identified as Muslim women. By wearing hijab the woman is concealing her sexuality but allowing her femininity to shine…”

I’m an artists and accountants manqué! I sleep and i dream. about chocolates, Continue reading →

DTD – a perpetual Curse.

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Chronicles of DTD! – The perpetual curse.

I’m telling a story to my little ones about a cherubic fairy who was entangled and cursed by two demons. Unfortunately there was no way of unjinxing herself so she had to leave fairyland, and that was once upon a time.

Once upon a time, she had a senior who would tell her about her predictable tedious fate and she, not being old enough to probe the depths of his words and wisdom, would laugh heartily in her silliness… Continue reading →

The I to them. (Rant)

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“The worst thing about people who know you is, they, like doctors, always know where it hurt most!” (A. Rai)

I’m still the frog that swims in the muddy puddle and yearns for the transformation – a frog into a king! But a kissless frog, that missed it out (too silly for him to dream!!)

I’m still that stupid hen, who is sitting on the eggs believing that they; will burst into diamonds and gems!! (Silly, more silly) A nocturnal earthworm, that is pecking on the broken rotten dreams! A little kitten hidden in the curtains (oh! fright!) too reluctant to come in the lime light!!

But i grew up, and a translucent drape that concealed the real world is torn into million shreds! I can see with my too realistic eyes and no curtain of fantasy lie in between.. (Oh poor me!!) Didn’t i just relate my misconception theory with my animal mania? grr!! Sometime i just lose control :p ! (I will teach my goldfish to learn to play guitar and my parrot to grow into a rooster!)

Imagine a spec on blue on immaculate white cloth… this is how my stupidity is… too little but too vivid for any eye to be caught. I thought i have lost her, i did, just to find her back once again (gee! i love the happy endings) ‘wont let you go this time’ held her tight in my arms (too much for her claustrophobia!) and whispered in her ears! She giggled like a modest bride on her husband’s joke (eww! guess this wedding season isnt over yet!! i am too occupied with all that sniffs and sighs and tears and hyees!) misconceptions kill mol misconceptions !! si.. and i accept and repeat! I’m protected, not exactly cocooned, but sheltered and cared in a very different way.. Love you appi, and love you nin 🙂

.a.
Dec 07, 2006.