Children heal us.

My Guest post at Niqaab Hub:

Let Our Children Be The Coolness Of Our Eyes And Heal Our Grieving Heart

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Back then, there was a saying that goes ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ .

Those days, the responsibility of raising a child was considered to be a joint effort for each and everyone that knew him.

This included his grand parents, teachers, extended family and society and community at large.

However, over time the concept of joint extended families slowly disappeared. The burden of rearing a child has fall solely onto the shoulders of both parents.

Raising a child in today’s millenial age is becoming very stressful. The difficulty increases manifold if a mother is parenting a child or children single handedly, in the absence of the father.

There are pressures and stigmas attached to it. The stakes are at so much higher in some community whereby single mothers are treated indifferently and often isolated from society.

Although single parenting has become increasingly common, it is still frowned upon in certain community, as it is defying the norms of society and hence a taboo.

Going through a divorce, separation or facing the demise of a spouse is a very traumatic experience for any woman. The thought of child rearing along with fulfilling financial responsibilities on top of everything else at times would  break her into pieces.

Emotionally, single mothers are often left on her own to cope with all sorts of mixed emotions like: Anger. Depression. Frustration. Loneliness. Anxiety. Fear. Insecurity.

However, it is interesting to note though that we have an excellent example from the Quran where it mentioned about 2 women in particular who had raised their child singlehandedly :

Maryam AS who was Actually a single parent

Hajar AS who was metaphorically a single parent as she lived away from her husband, Ibrahim AS

Maryam Alahi Salam

She absolutely grew up without any male figure in her life. She didn’t have a father, brother or a husband, not even an uncle to care for her.

She was all alone during her pregnancy.

She had to endure labour pain and delivery all by herself in the desert. This is one momentous task that she  undertook singlehandedly.

Despite knowing the amount of societal  backlash she would receive when she decided to take her child to the people without any immediate family to protect her, she did not fear.

In Quran Allah SWT describes it as:

Then she brought him to her people, carrying him. They said, “O Mary, you have certainly done a thing unprecedented. O sister of Aaron, your father was not a man of evil, nor was your mother unchaste.” So she pointed to him. They said, “How can we speak to one who is in the cradle a child?”

[Jesus] said, “Indeed, I am the servant of Allah . He has given me the Scripture and made me a prophet. And He has made me blessed wherever I am and has enjoined upon me prayer and zakah as long as I remain alive.

And [made me] dutiful to my mother, and He has not made me a wretched tyrant.

Quran (19: 27-32)

When others started hurling hurtful things, she (was told) to point towards her child, (or what I understand seek comfort in her child)

Isa Alahi Salam had mentioned that “Allah Made me dutiful to my mother” and to be a source of comfort and contentment for her!

I truly believe that this is the ultimate guide line for single mothers.

Allah SWT wants single women to  seek solace and strength from their own children and stop fretting over societal comments or worrying about what other people think/say/do.

COntinue reading here:

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