Namra! The bundle of joy!

Mothers are someone who give birth to you, after having created you in her womb, nose, eyes, legs, hands! And there are people who are your second mothers and second fathers. Who create your ideologies, philosophies, preferences, frameworks, brinks, limits and boundaries in their wombs, who mold you in their hands, from a pulp of exquisite anonymous dough to name and personality, mere movements of fingers or lips.
Aiman is one to me. My guardian angel. My second love of life. Someone who taught m,e living, smiling, and who’d take my hand and guide me always. Of whom I thought I will always stick by, this however, could not happen. She got married and went off with her prince charming to a happily ever after far far away! and then came June 9th, when Humayoun Bhai messaged me about the baby girl Aiman had just given birth to!

 I rushed to see her, I remember acsending the staits, I remember rushing in corridors, I remember turning the handle of he room, hugging aimen and I remember seeing the fragile figure wrapped in blue napkin! Then it all come crashing down. The joy. The Excitement. The intensity of a feeling I cant describe!
I wouldn’t dare hold her in my arms fearng I would break her limb or something but I had looked her, I had savoured the delight of having seen her, I had cried and I had felt her by touching her cheeks with my index finger, and that minute the difference between us ceased to exist, the frail boundary where she ended and I started, blurred. Then, I was all hers. She was all mine!
She was the one child I wanted to see growing up, day by day, second by second, chunk by chunk and bit by bit!
This would never happen. Impossible does exist.
But that wont make my love for her fade away! because she is still the part of someone I so adore, And when you love someone, you just love them. Everything around you turn out to be a relative thing of your loving someone. And you end up listening to your silence with little tears brimming your eyes, reasonless tears. because you’re not sad, you’re not happy, you’re just missing someone you love! and you’re just loving them beyond anything.
May Allah bless you Namra dear! 
May Allah bless you 🙂


Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you. If you didn’t want to be tagged, you have my apologies.

1) I am extraordinarily ordinary. And trust me it is not something to boast of about.

2) There are so many me juggling inside to be the ‘I’, so perfectly opposite they are never at accord with each other, giving me a perfect excuse to vindicate my hypocrisy and the perfect organized mess that I am. Thankyou.

3) My biggest joy is life is my Religion, the more I read it the more I am captivated by it, I want to practice and learn the true essence of it. But my mortal self and human trait render it very difficult, I hope Allah holds me, protects me and save and guide me. Amen.

4) My stupidity is like a gray blob with radius of a good 12 cm on a black sheet, Very huge. Very invisible to the normal eye.

5) My deepest regret of the late is about my incapability to smile, utter lack of desire to mingle/talk with people and ease that I drive from being un-noticeable and invisible to others.

6) My flesh and bones are somehow very allergic to the sheer delight of coffee. It is one of my very grieved grief.

7) I write because I should, as I say my brain is always pregnant with ideas and words are always being produced here and there, I love to write one liners, quips, short notes, random quotation, I always carry a notepad with me, words can be born anywhere. I call it the spilling of my wisdom.

8) I live with my psedu-intellect and consider it complete, gloat over the fact and cherish me myself to an extent that can make me a imperfectly-perfect narcissist. Or for that matter stuck me with self-detest, which however is always compensated by kissing the mirrors.

9) I dream of sweet beautiful things, like flowers, bees, babies, chocolates and falling in love. Everything afterall, is possible in dreams.

10) I love people unconditionally, I do not hold grudge against any race, gender or religion, as long as they’re human beings. It is just that sometime I come across apes and monkeys in skin of man.

11) I think 21 is young, and 22 is quite grown up. The fact that I am 22 is depressing; the fact that Eric is still 16 and will never grow up is devastating.

12) I am polite and totally unable to say a ‘no’. and often misjudged by being available or interested or impressed etc. The truth is that I am not. I am just good at posing !

13) I have my pride and I more often get hurt too. If I don’t show, doesn’t mean I am not crying within. If I smile at your lame joke at my expense doesn’t mean I enjoy being ridiculed.

14) My favorite color includes every color. I cherish them, touch them, feel them, and feast my eyes with the sight of them. Alhamdolilah.

15) I don’t want me to lose the wonder of my eyes, only this is something which makes my soul juvenile, I wonder at the birds, the sky, the mountains. I play with winds, sing with sun and love the moon! And obviously I adore My Creator.

16) I am a forgiver, doesn’t mean I am a forgetter too. It is impossible. I do not forget what you do to me, until I discard you from everywhere, my life, me memories, my mind and even human race. And, no, its not cruel. Its strong denial. It is about justice.

17) I grew without playing with dolls. I have 11, packed in their boxes hanging with the walls of my room. From where they’d be thrown away, still packed in boxes. And I still find the grown up me very girlish. I wonder if its strange.

18) I should not consider myself different. If my dreams orbit the typical of career, love, children, family like the rest of the 98 % girls of town, How am I different?

19) My watches and clocks are out of order and I am justified in losing the track of time.

20) I love animated stuff and rationalize it by saying that the hard work that is being done in the production of such creativity deserves my seeing and liking it.

21) I have four white hair on my scalp and I’ve deduced I am old.

22) I speak a lot of incomprehensible gibberish. And it saddens me.

23) I have a weird idea of cleanliness, like, as marj says, I judge people by the way they laugh, by the way they put their shoes before climbing the carpet, by the way they clean the soap after using it, by the way cross their legs, by their movements and etc. and I am very very fearful of being scrutinized in the same way in return.

24) I tend to forget names, and it is horrible at most of the times. I am working very hard to stop doing that.

25) I want to do something, I have big plans, I just lack energy for their execution. The energy that sweeps out of the pores of my body and tickle down to gutter. I pray that one day, I somehow can be among people who have added to this world in a positive way, other than the usual carcondioxide and waste! I Pray if Allah makes me what He wants me to see. And I somehow stop utilizing my efforts in total meaning less things that I do! Amen!

I can go on and on and on. And still, when someone asks me about ‘who I am’ I end up finding refuge in silence, in not knowing of who I am.

And as I always say, I am a testimony of my people, please check:

I am tagging all the people I notified at WL and Comfortably Numb, Aamir, Rohan, Vinisha and Ganj.

wishes, Asbah.

My little men of 6 (feet)

How many letters are there in the word ‘Siblings’, i counted, eight. and what difference can a presence or absense, with striking distance in between, make? Unanswerable! million of miles away, we’ll still remain (InshAllah) the Us. Nothing what so ever can stop me from loving and aching for the people I can call my own. 
And I remember the day when we were very young and used to share a room, I remember how he’d take my hand before sleeping, a symbol of friendship that will last forever, a pledge that we’ll always fight for our kin and a vow to always take care of the youngest, Aaqib. 
Allah ji please protect my family and keep them save. Amen.

Flash Back: (written on the day when they left islo for the first time for so called higher-studies)
I don’t know what was it, how silence had obstructed me, sucked off all the blood from me, drain me of all the words and drown me in the void. I wheezed aound wondering how it happened? I bumped and jumped, rose and drown in the chasm like bubbles in a coke glass.
The sweat and tears hollowed me and I for one second thought that I would break the gravitation pull and would go poof! weightless in the air. That however, never happened.
Aatir and Aaqib went off in a Chuck-Chuck (train) something which we had not experianced since childhood. But now they’re grown up men, MashAllah! and it was inevitable for them to leave the nest. I love them enough to let them go, and hope that they reach save and sound. I hope they enjoy alot.
Au Revoir. Bon Vouyage!!
Sep 14, 2007.