and thats how the new year begin….
I can hear in my loneliness
the melody of this fleeting moment
foot steps of eve’s drifting away
with the demise of the day
night’s creeping in.
I can perceive the silent throb of my heart
racing for an unknown breavement
flaunting hues are blending in haze
Towns are tumbling down to ashes
I can behold the transformation
of love,
into this wilderness
where haunting horror has reigned
Listen yourself if you can
This demise of day will sound the trumpet of death.

Jan 02, 2007


Decorously placed little bottles,
with secrets in their bellies
the cucumber juice would go first (let it dry)
lemon juice would follow. (let it dry too)
grease with a mixture of olive oil and almond oil – equal quantities
a gentle stir, a light rub.
add powdered orange-peel dried.
with chopped rose petals and glycerin.

End: top it with fresh cream! Sleep for 8 hours to witness miracles. Enough for a more feminine me; I wish if I could get a bob-cut, hope out in my jeans, could get as ugly – as ugly could be, and eat to my fullest without fearing anything. (pimples, weight, skin, hair and God knows what else). I wish… (Ops! i dont wish it grr.. no i dont wish anything at all… *sigh* No!)

Dec 12, 2006

The I to them. (Rant)

“The worst thing about people who know you is, they, like doctors, always know where it hurt most!” (A. Rai)

I’m still the frog that swims in the muddy puddle and yearns for the transformation – a frog into a king! But a kissless frog, that missed it out (too silly for him to dream!!)

I’m still that stupid hen, who is sitting on the eggs believing that they; will burst into diamonds and gems!! (Silly, more silly) A nocturnal earthworm, that is pecking on the broken rotten dreams! A little kitten hidden in the curtains (oh! fright!) too reluctant to come in the lime light!!

But i grew up, and a translucent drape that concealed the real world is torn into million shreds! I can see with my too realistic eyes and no curtain of fantasy lie in between.. (Oh poor me!!) Didn’t i just relate my misconception theory with my animal mania? grr!! Sometime i just lose control :p ! (I will teach my goldfish to learn to play guitar and my parrot to grow into a rooster!)

Imagine a spec on blue on immaculate white cloth… this is how my stupidity is… too little but too vivid for any eye to be caught. I thought i have lost her, i did, just to find her back once again (gee! i love the happy endings) ‘wont let you go this time’ held her tight in my arms (too much for her claustrophobia!) and whispered in her ears! She giggled like a modest bride on her husband’s joke (eww! guess this wedding season isnt over yet!! i am too occupied with all that sniffs and sighs and tears and hyees!) misconceptions kill mol misconceptions !! si.. and i accept and repeat! I’m protected, not exactly cocooned, but sheltered and cared in a very different way.. Love you appi, and love you nin 🙂

Dec 07, 2006.