Few weeks ago I was listening to this lecture by Mufti Menk and he mentioned something extra ordinary about Ayah 4 from Surah Yousuf.

إِذْ قَالَ يُوسُفُ لِأَبِيهِ يَا أَبَتِ إِنِّي رَأَيْتُ أَحَدَ عَشَرَ كَوْكَبًا وَالشَّمْسَ وَالْقَمَرَ رَأَيْتُهُمْ لِي سَاجِدِينَ

[Of these stories mention] when Joseph said to his father, “O my father, indeed I have seen [in a dream] eleven stars and the sun and the moon; I saw them prostrating to me.”

The Holy Quran has remarkable depths, it has Layers upon layers of meanings and even in the parables it draws, it has details and food for thought. The sheikh said that Allah SWT referred the ‘Mother’ of Yusuf AS as a ‘Moon’, His Father Yaqub AS as a ‘Sun’ and the children as stars. and then he went into probing the reasons of comparisons – like he said its interesting to note that the moon goes through a cycle of different phases, it doesnt stay the same, so in 28 days it keep changing. Just like women, they have phases and they are constantly evolving in their menstrual cycle which impacts their mental and emotional strength. I personally think that in the later half of the cycle when the membrane starts to degenerate and shed, women’s emotions are strongly affected by it.

But thats not the only thing that caught me, I kept thinking about more similarities between a mother and a moon – and I came to so many more details in this regard. Like for instance, the moon in itself doesn’t have a light of its own, its glow is ‘borrowed’ from the sun. I am not saying that women do not posses any capabilities on their own. One of the main super power they have, is to be able to magnify and reflect back whatever is thrown onto them.

A woman, if married, is so emotionally dependent on her husband, or the sun, to nurture herself. And how a lot of women behave also depends deeply on what kind of emotional food she is being fueled with.

As Nemrah Ahmed says:

(The sposes do not need to love each other. They just need to have “Mawaddah’ and “Rehmah’. the first means attachment and friendship while the other one is compassion, care and concern for each other. Love is not the requisit. and you know, a wife is  like a mirror to her husband. you will call her beautiful, she will become prettier everyday. you will tell that she cares for you and serves you, she will start serving you way better, if you will compliment and praise her you will motivate and encourage her. but if you will keep finding faults in her you will make her empty and hollow. she is from a curved rib, you will break her in an attempt to ractify her. just keep the relationship of friendship and mercy with her. i want you to be happy with her and i also want her to be happy with you)

Although it sounded alot like we do not want to own our burdens and justify our bad days and bad moods by blaming men. it is more about care. Just like we need real practical food for our physical beings we need actual love, care and concern from our spouses to grow, to get strong and shine back. Real care, the kind which can be felt through all the senses. we need to see and listen and feel being cared. It should not just be the implicit kind of care, present but invisible.

our souls need nourishment too. and where shall we get that? it should be from the ‘love and being loved’. reminds me of ‘Of love and other demons’  Gabriel says ‘nothing can cure what love can not’ or was it happiness?

But there is a bigger question here! what if there is no sun? or what if the sun is eclipsed? or perhaps ice cold – the one that can not emit any light. What shall the moon do?

I ended up finding two interesting references in seeking the answer for this question.

1) Firstly and importantly, the sun light is the representation of Allah SWT in many cases. it is the main sign of Allah SWT. so in the prayers when there is sun the Tilawat is hidden (Khafi) and when there is no sun the Imam recites loudly. One of the reasons scholars give of this fact is that sun itself is the biggest loudest emblem of Allah SWT out there! so the Tilawat is done hidden.

now this gives two corollories:

1. a) your spouse, like sun, is one major sign of Allah swt
2. b) if your spouse or your marriage is partly dysfunctional (that it doesnt deliver what it is supposed to give for your emotional and spiritual self which will eventually have physical consequences) turn to Allah. seek that light, that nur that love from Allah.