Are you a Good parent?

My Article for Muslimah Bloggers.

 

Parenting is a tough job. It requires constant attention, care, concern, effort, time, energy and love as well. It isn’t something one can take for-granted, after all it is a formation of an individual person,  development of a Human being. And in turn nurturing of a nation.

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However, in recent times parents and specially mothers have been guilty of not doing their job of raising kids properly. We are made to lose focus on something that should be of prime importance – parenting. We have media, social media, shoppings, socializing and a rat race to maintain status quo, in addition to career & family commitments and stresses to distract us.

The results are horrifying – we have hyper active kids, depressed kids, kids with psychological disorders, under-confident kids, stressed kids and kids who show other serious behavioral and even physical disorders. This is a strange sadness. Despite all the gadgets and toys and accessories, we have failed in providing a happy childhood to our own children.

Few Mothers see it as a problem. And those who do, wrongly believe that it is something to do with her child, perhaps a potion to fix her child like magic. Or maybe a special dua, Wadhifa, a visit to a doctor, some pill maybe, maybe a visit to the Imam of the masjid or something external that would do its charm and the child be well-mannered happy kid in minutes.

Because the problem, they believe, is WITH KIDS, they argue.

Beenish Khan thinks otherwise. A zealous Montessori trained teacher who is working with children and parents for more than a decade now, Beenish believes that the key to solving this puzzle lies in the behavior and emotional and mental health of a mother.

She is on a mission to inculcate the core Islamic values of raising kids, the relevant Montessori method and the wisdom of Mind sciences – in such a way that easy guiding material is available to mothers and teachers who are looking for answers. She runs a facebook page as well.

In one of her recent post, she dared asking some question to us mothers. And these questions were eye opener to me as well.

In asking those question, Beenish doesn’t want answers herself she rather wants us to ponder over them and answer those ourselves. These are serious question and in their answers lies reasons as to why we have angry upset kids most of the times. Below I humbly share those questions along with my own personal thought process in respect of those:

  1. How much time do you spend with your children everyday? Do you think making food for them or doing laundry of their clothes is spending time WITH your kids? Do you prefer never ending house chores over your OWN kids, every time, every day?
  2. How much quality time do so spend with each of your child? Is it possible that one of your children, mostly the elder ones, are being neglected while you over pamper the younger ones considering they are smaller and need your attention more? How can you make sure to spend few quality minutes daily, with every single child of your – giving him/her individual attention to fill them with your positive loving energy. Do you think it is worth your time and effort?
  3. Do you observe your children often?  Please click here to read the remaining article.

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